Today, I want to talk about life lessons that we can learn from failed relationships. I feel it is important to reflect on the lessons we can learn from those experiences, especially after having been through one myself.
2 Reasons Why We Face Failed Relationships
To begin with, I want to briefly talk about the top 2 reasons why we face failed relationships in the first place.
1. Lack of Communication
This one is a killer.
According to Huff Post, 100 mental health professionals found that communication problems were the most common reason why 65% of couples split up”.
Without healthy communication, a relationship is unlikely to be successful. Do not be afraid of addressing an issue with your partner. It is important to discuss problems openly and solve them together rather than keeping quiet just because you do not want to hurt their feelings.
2. Lack of Trust
This is another major killer in relationships. Without trust, what is the point of having a relationship?
If you are upset with your partner about a situation, talk it out. Always be sincere and allow your partner to clarify the situation in detail to you. It is very important to always think before you act.
This will create a stronger bond between you and your partner and prevent any unnecessary misunderstandings.
2 Life Lessons Learned From Failed Relationship
With the reasons behind our minds, I want to share with you 2 life lessons that I found were most important and helped me cope with the situation better back then.
1. Do Not Give to Receive
Wanting to be loved is never wrong, but expecting the love to be given to you just because you showed the same is not going to work. Men and women are different. The way one expresses love might not be the same as the other.
According to Psychology Today, it stated that “People tend to give to one another the way they like to receive, but that is not giving”.
Now, how many of you have heard of The 5 Love Languages?
I believe in The 5 Love Languages and have used it many times to improve my relationships with people around me.
For those of you who have never heard of it before, the 5 Love Languages are:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Acts of Service
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch
Use them to understand, find out and show your partner’s love language, while still expressing yours so that they know what your love language is. By showing your partner’s love language, they are more likely to express your love language back to you, and that will strengthen your relationship with one another.
2. You Can Only Change Yourself, Not Your Partner
The difference between couples that stay together and the ones who split up is the way they handle conflict.
Dr. John Gottman, a psychological researcher and clinician from The Gottman Institute, stated that “the masters of relationships take responsibility for their role in the issue and change their behavior.”
Instead of trying to change your partner, be the change you wish to see in your relationship.
Dr. Gottman also stated that “When you focus on changing your partner, you miss the opportunity to work together to come up with a solution. You are no longer on the same team.”
Therefore, when you face issues in your relationship, focus on it at hand and justly solve the issue so that both of your needs are met.
Most people look at failure – be it in love or business – as a negative thing. However, if people can turn their mindsets around and look at it from another perspective, all these failures are essential and are springboards to the success that we have today.
Have you been in a failed relationship before? What did you learn from it? Let me know in the comments, I would love to hear them!